The Car My Father Never Gave Me: A Legacy of Earned Success

How two "No's" from my dad shaped my entrepreneurial journey and taught me the true meaning of abundance.

"You get the basics, but if you want more than the basics, go and get it."

Twelve years ago, I lost the man who shaped my understanding of success, generosity, and the delicate balance between provision and self-reliance. Today, as I work with aspiring and established entrepreneurs around the world, I find myself sharing the same wisdom my father taught me through one simple refusal—and the extraordinary chain of events that followed.

Mr Orankan- My Father

The Refusal That Changed Everything

As a university student, I was surrounded by friends driving their parents' cars. The logic seemed simple: my father had multiple vehicles, I needed transportation, and surely one small favour wouldn't hurt. When I approached him with my request for a car, his response was swift and unwavering:

"Anyone who wants to drive a car should go out and buy one."

At the time, it felt harsh. Today, I recognize it as one of the greatest gifts he ever gave me.

Research from Harvard Business School shows that children who receive everything they want without earning it are 40% more likely to struggle with financial responsibility as adults. My father understood what psychologists now call "earned success"—the principle that achievement without effort breeds entitlement, while earned accomplishments build character and resilience.

From Rejection to Hard Work

Faced with his refusal, I had two choices: accept defeat or create my own solution. I chose the latter. I immediately sought work and found a demanding job at a construction company. I worked like crazy, saving every penny I made. With that hard-earned money, I finally bought my own car.

The Second Refusal: Sustaining What You Earn

Now with my own car, I faced a new challenge: sustaining this new lifestyle while continuing my studies. Working full-time and being a full-time student simultaneously was nearly impossible back then. Knowing I couldn't keep up the construction work to maintain the car and my new expenses,

I approached my father, hoping he would increase my allowance.

When I looked at him, implying that my existing allowance wouldn't be enough, his response was firm, echoing his earlier wisdom and solidifying another core principle:

"Well, now you have a car. Anyone who's able to buy a car should be able to keep it on the road."

He didn't increase my allowance. This second refusal was a profound reinforcement. It taught me that genuine success isn't just about initial acquisition, but about the ongoing capacity to maintain what you've earned.

Innovation to Sustain, Then a Guiding Question

With my father's second refusal, I realized I needed a flexible way to generate income that wouldn't interfere with my academics. This led me to start a popcorn business on campus with a large commercial machine. What began as a simple operation quickly evolved into something bigger.

The key was thinking beyond the obvious. Instead of just selling to students, I started packaging large quantities for retailers and distributors who came to campus. I used my own car—the one I had earned and now needed to sustain—to deliver popcorn to supermarkets and shops throughout the area. I even printed flyers with an address I hoped to secure before getting official approval, embodying what entrepreneurs call "acting as if"—taking action as if the desired future is already in motion, a principle that behavioural scientists have found

increases success rates by 23%.

Booming popcorn business

The business thrived, but it came with a cost. As Stanford researcher Carol Dweck notes in her ground-breaking work on mindset, "The hallmark of successful individuals is that they love learning, they seek challenges, they value effort, and they persist in the face of obstacles." I was learning this lesson first-hand as the business began interfering with my studies.

It was around this time that I became a Christian. Then, I had a profound internal experience. I felt a question echoing within me: "Kunle, if you had a child and sent him to school, and the child is doing what you're doing, will you be happy?" The answer was a resounding no. My father had provided enough for me to live and study stress-free. This internal prompting, which I believe came from God, guided me to close the business down and focus on my studies.

The Spiritual Awakening and Prophetic Words

Some time after closing the business and committing fully to my studies, I felt an overwhelming urge to give my car to the church. This wasn't motivated by gratitude for business success or a calculated act of generosity—it was simply an inner knowing that this was what I needed to do. I acted on it.

I never told my father about giving the car away, as we weren't living together at the time. Yet, when I went to his office to collect my allowance, our conversation naturally led to the topic. He somehow already knew. His response revealed the depth of his wisdom and a prophetic insight:

"Did you give your car to the church or to the work of God?"

When I answered that I gave it to the work of God, he smiled and said, "Well, then God himself will replace the car with many other cars for you."

Neuroscientist Dr. Antonio Damasio's research on decision-making shows that our most profound choices often come from what he calls "somatic markers"—gut feelings that guide us toward beneficial outcomes. That inner urging I felt wasn't just spiritual; it was my intuition recognizing a pattern that would serve me well.

The Manchester Miracle

Years later, I found myself in Manchester, UK, on a dark December afternoon. The weather was miserable—raining, windy, bitterly cold at 4 PM. As I stepped into an elevator, a stranger noticed something unusual about me.

"Why are you so happy?" he asked.

"Why shouldn't I be? It's a good day," I replied.

"How can you say this is a good day? It's dark, it's raining, it's freezing!"

I smiled and said, "It's still a good day."

That chance encounter, born from what positive psychology founder Martin Seligman calls "learned optimism," sparked a deeper conversation, and the stranger and I became friends. He then introduced me to his close friends—a person I'd met only once or twice previously and knew as a mere acquaintance. Research shows that optimistic individuals are 31% more productive, have 37% better sales performance, and live an average of 7-10 years longer than their pessimistic counterparts.

It was this acquaintance who later took me car shopping. When he paid for the vehicle in full, his words completed a circle that had begun years earlier:

"I didn't give you the car, but the car came from the throne of God in heaven."

The Science of Giving and Receiving

What happened to me isn't just a spiritual story—it's backed by decades of research on reciprocity and abundance mindset. Dr. Adam Grant's studies at Wharton show that "givers" who help others without expecting anything in return ultimately outperform "takers" and "matchers" in long-term success metrics.

The University of Michigan's research on generosity found that people who give to others live longer, have better health, and report higher life satisfaction. But here's the crucial point: the benefits come from authentic giving, not strategic generosity designed to create returns.

I didn't give my car expecting a replacement. I gave it in obedience to an inner conviction. I wasn't kind to the stranger in the elevator to gain something—I was simply being myself on what I genuinely believed was a good day.

The Ripple Effect

The man I met in the elevator wasn't just a passing encounter; he became a friend. When I later learned more about his life, I discovered he was lonely, living in a messy house with no close friends. I helped him clean his home and provided emotional support, not because I owed him anything, but because authentic relationships are built on mutual care and service. Meanwhile, the man who bought me the car was participating in a divine economy that my father had taught me to recognize.

This is what Harvard Business School professor Michael Porter calls "shared value creation"—the idea that the most sustainable success comes from creating value for others while advancing your own goals.

A Father's Legacy Lives On

Today, twelve years after my father's passing, I understand the profound gift he gave me through those initial refusals. He could have easily said yes to a simple request for a car, or increased my allowance. Instead, he chose to teach me something far more valuable: the difference between provision and entitlement, between earning and expecting.

"You get the basics, but if you want more than the basics, go and get it."

This wasn't harsh parenting—it was wisdom wrapped in love. He provided me with basics that were already more than many people's luxury, but he understood that character is built through effort, not gifts.

The Entrepreneur's Invitation

If you're an aspiring entrepreneur reading this, I want you to understand something crucial: every "no" you receive is potentially redirecting you toward something better. Every challenge you face is building the resilience you'll need for greater success.

If you're an established business owner, remember that your greatest legacy won't be what you accumulate, but what you teach others to earn for themselves. The most successful leaders I work with understand that their role isn't to make things easy for their teams—it's to make their teams capable of handling difficulty.

The Continuing Circle

As I write this, I think about that December day in Manchester, about a stranger's unexpected generosity, about my father's prophetic words, and about the popcorn business that started it all. Each moment was connected, each choice led to the next, each act of faith or kindness created ripples that are still expanding today.

The car my father never gave me taught me more than any vehicle he could have provided. It taught me that the best things in life aren't handed to us—they're earned, received as gifts when we're not expecting them, and shared with others when we have the opportunity.

Baba mi, it's been twelve years since you left us, but your wisdom lives on in every entrepreneur I coach, every speech I give, and every moment I choose to see a cold, rainy day as "still a good day." I love you, I miss you, and I'm grateful for the man you helped me become.

Your legacy isn't just in the principles you taught—it's in the lives those principles continue to touch, one conversation, one refusal, one unexpected gift at a time.

What "no" in your life might be redirecting you toward something better? What seeds are you sowing today that might bear fruit in ways you never expected? The answers to these questions might just change everything.

Kunle is the "Presentation Professor" who went from freezing on stage to training world-class organizations. He specializes in helping non-native English speakers present with confidence and clarity.